Well, I'm out of here.
Do some research downtown, get inside women's heads.
- Well, if you need any help-- - I'll be picking your brain.
- You got it. - I'll take it.
Oh, God. Candy.
She won't last a month.
Oh, I like that one, but it says you can't wear it if you have hips.
- That one's cute. - It's low-cut. I can't wear low-cut.
- [Nick Knocking At Door] Alex? - It's open.
What? Say something.
Uh, hi. I'm Alex's dad, Nick.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Deadbeat. - Mr. No-Food-in-the-House.
[Girl#2 Thinking] Forgot her birthday.
Why is he just standing there?
Oh, I-I just wanted to let you know that I was home...
and that I got sort of a date later on tonight, so I'm going out.
But I'll be home early. Hey, why don't you guys order a pizza?
There's not a scrap of food in the joint.
I also wanted to know if maybe you and I could go out on a date soon?
I'd like to take you shopping for a prom dress.
Oh, that is so sweet.
I wish my dad would do something like that.
- [Girl#1 Thinking] I love him. - [Alex] I don't get it.
First, you throw Cameron out.
Now you wanna take me shopping so I can go to the prom with him?
I overreacted, and I just wanna make up for it by taking you shopping.
I mean, it's a pretty important thing, you know?
They say it's all downhill after the dress.
He must be stoned. Fine.
I'll get the most expensive dress, shoes, makeup. He can afford it.
And what the hell. Let's go crazy.
While we're at it, we'll get you new makeup, shoes, the works.
- What do you say? - Fine, whatever.
Whatever meaning "yes." Yes?
Yes.
Great. Nice to have met you two. I hope to see you again soon.
- Definitely. - Bye, Mr. Marshall.
- Love the apartment. - Great view.
Thank you. Oh, okay.
I gotta tell ya, I'm not usually like this on a first date.
It's just... you've been so amazing all night.
- You've been so sensitive... - Oh, well--
and so understanding and--
Hey.
- You wanna come up? - Oh, yeah.
I can't believe I asked him up. Am I ready for him to come up?
If I sleep with him, he'll think I'm a slut and never call me again.
Or he'll call me all the time 'cause he'll think he can get it whenever he wants.
Oh, what's the difference? He's so incredible!
He reminds me of my sister.
- So, what do you think? - Well, I--
I'll only come up if you really want me to.
I don't want you to do anything that you're not ready for.
- I can wait. - [Squeals]
- Oh, he's got a great body.
But-- Whoa!
What's with the tongue? I'm gonna need the Heimlich maneuver.
Thank you.
Ooh.
- Ouch! That's right, they're attached. - I'm sorry.
Oh! Now we're talkin'.
Uh-huh. Oh.
Okay. Lied about the grande.
[Groans]
Would you mind if we had the lights on, maybe?
- No, you want the light on? - Yeah, it might help.
Okay, if it'll help.
God, I hope he's better with the light on.
He's so all over the place. Just do it already so I can start faking it.
Is Britney Spears on Leno tonight?
[Panting]
- You okay? - Well--
Yeah, I'm just fine.
What-- What happened?
Shaking--
[Groans]
Okay. All right.
Now, let's pull this together, buddy.
I mean, this is what we do.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Just regrouping.
- [Chuckling] - Lola?
- I can do this better. - Wanna bet?
Yeah.
[Train Passing By]
[Moaning]
Amazing! Amazing.
Oh! It was like...
you were more inside of me than anybody ever!
- [Panting] - Well, thanks, doll.
- I tried. - No, no.
- I mean, more inside my head. - Oh.
Like, you knew what I wanted and how I wanted it.
We connected in a way that was beyond--
beyond--
Oh, my heart!
My heart is beating so hard.
[Thinking] Who would've thought? Slow starter,
then turns out to be a genius in bed.
Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Marshall is a sex god!
Oh, yeah.
- [Women's Voices Thinking]
- [Voices Overlapping]
- [Elevator Bell Dings]
- Living life.
- Life. Livin' it.
- Ooh. That's good.
- [Bell Dings]
- [Thinking, Indistinct]
Ha! I love it.
- [Knocking At Door]
- [Dan] I know. I know.
- Wait a minute.
- No, it's great.
[All Laughing]
Okay, that was a-- One more. Time for one more.
Okay, you know why guys like doing it in front of the mirror?
- Why? - Objects may appear larger.
- That's a good one. Anyway. - Oh, that's a good one.
I heard that in the beauty shop this morning.
- But seriously. Dee? - Huh?
That other thing we were talking about before.
Come on. I mean, he can't just ignore you all night,
stay glued to the TV like some zombie...
and then expect you to turn it on like a lightbulb.
I mean, I wouldn't put up with that.
I mean, you're either interesting or you're not.
Ask him to decide.
- Can I write that down? - All right.
I'm either interesting or I'm not. He'll shit a brick.
Hmm. What if he says I'm not?
He won't say that you're not.
Trust me.
Okay, I did it.
I told Chaim I wasn't moving to Israel.
Yeah, good. And?
I said what you said. He can be a writer anywhere.
If I'm going to be in advertising, I need to be here and not there.
[Whistles] And then he said?
- I don't know. It was in Hebrew. - Ooh.
But I don't think it was, "You got it. See you next Tuesday."
I don't know. I'd wait it out. He'll call you.
I can't. I better call him back.
Be strong. He will call you.
Well, girls, been nice chattin'. I gotta get back to work.
[All Chattering]
- Can I make you a sandwich? - No, I'm cool.
Really.
But thank you, anyway. This was fun.
[All] Aww!
[Thinking] Huh. This is good.
More insightful than I would've thought.
This line doesn't feel exactly right.
If you're thinking that line isn't perfect, I agree. It needs work.
There's something not exactly right about it, isn't there?
I mean, it's not bad. It's insightful, actually. It's just--
Well, what do you think this woman's thinking?
Uh, well, I--
Let's see.
Uh, she's thinking about what she wants out of life.
What's she gonna accomplish? How's she gonna do all that?
Women, you know, they think about that a lot.
I mean, surprisingly a lot.
They worry all the time about everything.
You're so right. How do you know that?
Well, you know, even I had a mother.
[Chuckles] Well--
So maybe running gives her time off from all of that.
Maybe, it gives her something she can't get anyplace else. Look at her.
God. I want to be her.
She looks so free, doesn't she?
No one's judging her, no boss to worry about,
no guys to worry about, no games to figure her way through.
I like that. No games. That's good.
That'd be nice in life, wouldn't it?
Okay, can I just think for one second?
- Take your time. - Okay.
Okay.
No games. How do I get that in?
She's running. lt's early, it's quiet.
Just the sound of her feet on the asphalt.
She likes to run alone. No pressure, no stress.
This is the one place she can be herself.
Look any way she wants, dress any way she wants, think any way she wants.
No game playing, no rules. Games, sports, rules.
Playing by the rules.
Playing games versus playing--
Playing by the rules. Playing games versus playing--
- Why are you nodding? - Because I think you're onto something.
- Am I? - Aren't you?
Well, I was thinking about a play on words.
Something about games versus--
I feel like I was onto something good.
- Playing games versus playing-- - Sports?
Yes! Thank you. Do you like any of this?
A lot. I like the idea that you can be yourself on the road.
I do too. Did I say that out loud?
[Stammering] No, I was just--
'Cause I was circling around the exact same thing,
- which is great, we're on the same-- - Yeah.
Sorry, I'm not thinking straight. My glands may be swollen.
Maybe they should be more swollen. You're doing great. Nike. No games.
Just sports.
- Oh. - You should write that down.
All right.
Did he come up with that, or did I?
Boy, can I be--
What?
Uh, well, can I be honest with you?
Please do.
Before I came here, I heard you were a tough, chauvinistic prick.
I didn't know you were gonna be that honest.
- Sorry. I'm-- Sorry. - No, that's all right.
No, that's okay. You must have looked so forward to meeting me.
I was dreading it. I had this whole other person built up in my mind.
Well, since we're sharing, I heard a few things about you too.
Yes, I'm sure. I'm the "man-eating bitch Darth Vader" of the ad world.
Verbatim.
Really? All right. Well, nice to meet you.
That's not who I am at all.
Just for the record, I don't think that's who you are.
I don't.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
See, no games equals embarrassing moment.
Don't fall for a guy at work. Don't fall for a guy at work.
- Don't fall for a guy at work. - Why?
Why what?
Why won't-- Why don't I just work on these story boards...
and then bring them back around to you tomorrow if you're free.
I'm free. Just call me anytime.
I'm flirting. What's wrong with me?
God! I just looked at his penis. I hope he didn't see me.
Oh, shit! I just looked at it again! Stop it!
- Are you all right? - Fine. I got something in my eye.
All right, um-- So, great.
So tomorrow will be-- That'll be great. I'll see you then.
- Uh, good work by the way. - You too.
- You sure you're all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- You laughing at me?
- Yeah. - Good.
I didn't think anyone else was still here.
- I didn't know anyone was still here. - What time is it?
It's after 10:00.
- I didn't realize it was so late. - [Thinking] I feel so alone.
Um-- I didn't catch that. Sorry?
- I didn't realize how late it was. - And I'm glad you're here.
I'm stuck. I feel so alone.
- You want me to give you a hand with some of this? - No, thanks. I'm okay.
Yeah, I'm not buying it. What's going on?
Well, I have an early meeting tomorrow with Dan,
and I wanted to make it later in the week so that I could be more prepared.
But then I've heard that you slipped in there and took the only time he had left,
which left me with 8:15 tomorrow morning.
It's fine. I'm just not as ready as I wish I was.
- Sorry. - You didn't do it on purpose.
[Coughs]
I just don't want him to be disappointed.
Hey, why don't we go through some of these together?
- Really? - I insist.
- Unless you're too tired or something. - Oh, no.
- I'm not tired. - Yeah, I can see that.
It's just so far beyond tired at this point.
I've basically stopped sleeping ever since I took this job.
- You have? - Yeah, it's weird.
I, um-- [Thinking] How do I say this?
You don't feel quite like yourself here, do you?
No, I don't. Not yet, anyway.
Boy.
Plus, I'm mad that I'm getting sick.
I never, ever get sick. In fact,
you don't have to sit so close to me if you don't want to.
No, come here. I'll brave it.
So, where do we kick off?
- Control-top panty hose? - Okay.
Personally, I think they do the trick.
You've worn control-top panty hose?
- Did you put a pair in the box? - Seriously?
Oh, yeah.
- You are full of surprises. - Yeah.
No, no, no. I mean that as a compliment. I love that.
- And how did you look in them? - Ooh. Hot.
My daughter and her boyfriend walked in, and I got 'em on with--
And they said what when they saw you in your panty hose?
It was the turquoise Wonderbra they noticed. Then, the nail polish.
[Indistinct]
[Alex] The dress you picked out is totally hideous.
- I'm not coming out. - It can't be that bad. Come on out.
I look like a nun-- an ugly nun.
Why? Because it's gray? Gray is the new black.
If he says he likes it, I'll die.
Okay, next.
This, I love.
Thank you. Next.
I think this is the one.
I like that-- No, I love that.
Okay, this is it.
Let me take a look.
Yes! I look older.
This is great. Oh, God, I need boobs.
Oh, I'll buy a padded bra when he's not around.
Oh, I can't believe this is what I'll be wearing the last night I'm a virgin.
- Or should I say, what I'll be taking off. - [Yells]
- Alex? - Hmm?
I wanna talk to you about something that's pretty important.
- I've never talked to you about-- - Oh, God.
He's actually gonna try to be a dad.
This should be hilarious.
I realize I haven't been the perfect dad.
[Thinking] Understatement of the century. Can you pass the bread?
Yeah, sure, sure. But that does not mean I don't have the right...
to talk to you about-- about--
- [Clears Throat] - About?
All right. You're a young woman now,
and you may be flirting with the idea of-of--
Having sex?
Um, can I get a lemonade, please?
Well, you know, boys and girls think very differently about sex.
My hunch is girls just want guys to like 'em and hang out with 'em.
Whereas guys-- And not all guys, alright?
But most guys, they pretty much just wanna have sex.
Okay, I'm-- What I'm trying to say here is,
I don't want you to feel pressured...
- because your boyfriend's older. - Please. Save it.
Mom had this talk with me when I was, like, 11.
I know you're supposed to have sex when you're in love and when it's special.
- I know everything. - [Coughs]
And Mom knows me for real and knows my friends and knows Cameron,
so let's leave the parental talks up to her, okay?
- Plus I promised Cameron I'd do it. - Oh, jeez.
And also, let's not make me part of this Nick makeover...
or whatever this new thing you're into is, okay?
- What new thing? - What new thing?
This ridiculous new guy you're trying to be.
Clowning around with me all the sudden? Asking if we can make a salad together?
Watch Friends together?
I mean, it's nuts after 15 years of no relating.
I mean, come on.
Who are you to talk about relationships anyway?
You never had a real relationship with anyone in your entire life.
Look, I'm supposed to meet my friends.
- So I'm gonna go, okay? - Sure.
Thanks for the dress.
[Woman Thinking] She didn't even finish her lunch.
Johnny-come-lately, giving her advice?
- Oh, teenagers. - I think the talk worked.
- She's totally right. - Move on, dude. It's over.
[Groans] Please.
Now you've seen how the cake is assembled.
The next time you admire a wedding cake, you'll be able to appreciate--
Wow. It looks so gorgeous.
- [Announcer] Fit, vibrant hair. - Oh.
I hated being overweight. I always wanted to be thin and pretty...
and wear cute little clothes.
It built and it built, and my health deteriorated.
And I couldn't walk and I couldn't stand...
to even stand up at the park for ten minutes while my kids played.
I tried sitting on the swings, and the chains cut my hips and it hurt.
And I couldn't - I couldn't run and I couldn't move.
And I was tired and I wanted to be a good mom.
[Sobbing]
- What the hell's wrong with me? - [Telephone Ringing]
- Hello? - [Thinking] What am I doing?
- [TV Shuts Off] - Darcy?
How did you know it was me? I didn't say anything.
I, uh, just sensed it.
Shit. I'm such an idiot. I didn't think he'd be there.
- Excuse me? - I didn't mean to really call you.
I had your number here, and I was thinking of you.
Thinking of calling you.
Obviously, I did call you.
Oh, no, that's all right. I, uh--
I was thinking about you too.
Well, here's to another great idea.
- What, "Let's meet for a drink"? - Yes.
- Yeah? - That's exactly what I wanted to say.
Sometimes I think you're a bit of a mind reader.
But I don't have to be a mind reader with you.
- Hmm. - You always say what you think.
- I know. It's a curse. - What--
- Are you kidding? It's a relief-- an enormous relief.
Do you know how rare that is, to actually say what you think?
Do you have any idea how rare it is for someone to actually like that about me?
Trust me, this has not been a great thing in my life.
My ex-husband didn't love me. Let's just put it that way.
He didn't love you?
Did I just say that?
Oh, God! [Laughs]
Um, I meant to say "it." He didn't love it--
that I spoke my mind.
If you wanna know the truth, I'm not sure he did really love me.
- Ooh. - There's a conversation starter.
God. A smart person would just get so very drunk now.
How long were you married?
A little less than a year.
I've been divorced about nine months now. We worked together.
- You know that, right? - Oh, yeah. I knew that.
- I heard it. - Hmm.
- What was that like? - It was great in the beginning.
But it changed. It became competitive.
Suddenly, the better I did, the worse we did.
The price I pay for being me.
- I know that now. No, truly. - [Chuckles]
- Oh. - No, no, it's true.
Do you wanna know all this about me?
Keep going.
Well, that's why I needed to get out there on my own,
as scary as it was.
I mean, not scary, but, um--
Well, yeah, I was kind of scared.
- Why? - I don't know.
I guess I wasn't sure I could do the job.
I mean, I thought I could do it,
but I'm finding Sloane-Curtis a much tougher place to navigate than I thought.
I'm sorry.
- I know you were up for my job. - No.
- I'm sorry I'm the one that got it. - I'm-I'm not. I'm not.
- I've learned a lot from you. - Like what?
Like what? For starters, you really love what you do.
- You really love what you do. - Not as much as you do.
How can you say that? You're so great at it.
I think Dan's even wondering why he hired me. Really.
I think the bloom is definitely off the rose.
You wanna hear something really great?
Yeah.
I just closed escrow on my first apartment ever.
Finally, I own my own place.
- What? I wish I was a mind reader. - No.
I was just thinking...
how men like me can get so screwed up.
I don't think there are men like you.
If we kissed, would it ruin everything?
Listen to me.
I think...
you are one of the great women.
I really do.
I'm sorry.
But I just meant to say thank you.
I'm so sorry.
Well, I, uh, guess I'll see you...
in, let's see, three and a half hours.
Nick, may I just say...
you are an exceptionally great kisser.
No, I mean really, really great.
Well, I haven't had this much fun making out since--
I've never had this much fun making out.
Me either.
- Don't let this get weird at work? - No.
We have nothing to be embarrassed about.
We made out. You and I made out.
- And if I may, it was-- - Sexy as hell.
God. That's just what I was about to say.
But I think I said it first, I think.
- Oh, no, you did. - Oh.
Um, well, all right, then.
Oh, I'm a grown woman. Just say it.
Do you want to come back to my place?
Say it! Do you want to come--
Good night, Darcy.
Good night.
What am I doing?
Lola.
It's okay. Okay. Here he comes.
- [Lola Muttering, indistinct] - Lola?
I know I haven't heard from you.
Lola, how long have you been out here?
Just a few... hours.
Nick, you said that you wouldn't hurt me.
And then you slept with me, and then you didn't call me for six days.
So that, in the world of me, that's torture.
I mean, we have this totally unbelievable, life-altering sex,
and then you just disappear.
I mean, you-you-you stopped drinking coffee!
Lola, I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay, because I figured out your little secret.
- You did? - It's so obvious.
How else would you know the things that you know?
- It wasn't obvious to anybody else. - Nick, come on.
You're so sensitive. You're so aware of my feelings.
You're so tuned in.
You talk to me like a woman, you think like a woman.
Nick! Come on! Admit it. You're totally and completely gay.
- I am? - You're not?
Oh! I mean, if you're not, you gotta tell me.
Based on the other night-- Just put me out of my misery.
Are you or aren't you?
Say you're gay. Then I'm not nuts. I'm not undesirable.
Not rejected by another guy! Say it! Say you're gay! Admit it!
Okay.
I'm gay.
How gay?
Oh! I'm as gay as it gets.
You're gonna make some guy very happy someday.
Oh, from your lips.
God, I hate that I'm crying.
Well, look it.
If things should ever change in that department--
- You'll be the first to know. - You promise?
Oh, yeah, I promise. Come here.
Oh, boy.
- It was very nice meeting you, Nick. - And you.
Thanks for pep talk, yes?
You two just take care of each other.
- And thanks for the yarmulke. - Oh, no problem.
- You wear it well, yes? - Happy trails, kids.
- Isn't he great? - Darcy!
I need to talk to you.
Uh-oh, look at him. I knew it. He is weird about it.
This is not about last night. It's about the Nike meeting.
And I honestly believe in my gut...
- that you should make the pitch. - Oh, God.
- I guilted you into this last night. - No, no.
- It would be better if you did it. - No, no, no.
This is your baby. You've gotta do it.
I gotta go meet and greet these folks. I'll see you in there.
- It's not my baby. - Yes, it is.
I predict no one will even know I'm gone until the files start to build.
It could be days.
And then someone will finally ask,
"Where's the geek in the glasses who carries all the files?"
Do either of you two know what the story is on this Erin girl?
- Miss Lonely Hearts? Who knows? - Yeah.
Ooh, I know. She's been here two years.
She tried to be a copywriter but got turned down.
- So she got stuck as a messenger. - What fool turned her down?
You did, sire.
Well, did I ever meet with her at least?
I don't think so. As I recall, you told me to "blow her off."
Well, I wanna meet with her now.
The kid's got something. She's kind of funny.
This is your lucky day, pal. I just saw the Nike group get off the elevator.
All women. Your specialty. Come on. I'll walk you up.
I hate what I'm doing to Darcy. I hate it!
I'm gonna write her a long letter, confess everything.
- You're doing Darcy? Since when? - No!
I said I hate what I'm doing to Darcy.
- Men are stupider. It's true. - Will you stop it?
- They are. - "They"? Are you officially a woman now?
Oh, I wish. A woman wouldn't have screwed over the woman she loved.
No, they don't think that way. And another thing.
- This thing about penis envy. - Yeah.
Not true. No. They don't envy it.
Half of'em don't even like it.
You know who has penis envy? We do.
That's why we cheat and screw up and lie,
because we're all obsessed with our own equipment.
- You ready? Okay. - Yeah.
Thanks.
[Nick] You don't stand in front of a mirror before a run...
and wonder what the road will think of your outfit.
You don't have to listen to its jokes and pretend they're funny.
It would not be easier to run if you dressed sexier.
The road doesn't notice if you're not wearing lipstick.
It does not care how old you are.
You do not feel uncomfortable...
because you make more money than the road.
And you can call on the road whenever you feel like it,
whether it's been a day...
or even a couple of hours since your last date.
The only thing the road cares about...
is that you pay it a visit once in a while.
Nike. No games.
Just sports.
- [Woman Thinking] He nailed it. - They hit a home run.
[Woman #3 Thinking] Where do we sign?
[Frank Sinatra On Stereo]
[Singing Along]
Why are you not the happiest guy in Chicago right now?
You just did so great.
No, no, I didn't do so great. We did so--
No, actually, you did so great.
- You. - You, me.
We did great!
Will you come with me someplace? I wanna show you something.
- No, I have something I really need to finish. - Please?
Please.
Okay. Here you go.
- Come with me. - All right.
- Should I close my eyes or anything? - No.
So, you see those top two floors right there?
I do.
- All mine. - Wow.
Come here.
So this is my--
living room.
It's beautiful.
What are you thinking?
You've got that look you have sometimes.
Yeah? No. I was just wondering when you get to move in.
Well, they said two weeks, so--
Okay. This is the dining room.
- The fireplace works. Come here. - Wow.
I can see elegant parties in here. Waiters with caviar,
- you in a beautiful gown. - You can see all that?
Maybe you're naked and I'm the only guest, but it'd still be elegant.
Okay. So this is upstairs.
There's a second bedroom or a future office or whatever.
- And this is my boudoir.
Your boudoir comes with pretty decent music.
It does.
Where is that coming from?
Let's turn up the volume.
So, where's your bed going?
Uh, right... here.
So, if you had a bed,
we'd be dancing on it.
I like it here.
I like it here too.
No. I mean, I like it here.
Oh.
[Thunder Rumbling]
[Dan] Believe me, we're as excited as you are.
- Dan? I gotta talk to you. - Yeah?
He'll be there. Bye. I gotta talk to you too. That was Nike.
They're gonna announce to the trades that we won the account.
I gotta hand it to you. You saved my ass. You saved the company's ass.
Actually, Dan, I had very little to do with saving anybody's ass.
It's Darcy you should be thanking, that's what I want to talk about.
Darcy? Please. I was there yesterday. The girl didn't open her mouth.
Look, I'm a big enough man to admit when I screw up.
I looked at the marketplace and I panicked.
Nick, forgive me. I want you to step in here.
No, no, no, no. Dan, you did the right thing when you hired her.
I mean, she is the best creative director I have ever seen, bar none.
- This isn't about-- She's adorable. - Oh, yeah, she is.
- But this isn't about that? - No, no. Not like that. No, no.
Please. Look.
I've been doing a lot of listening lately.
And I've decided... I need to take a leave of absence.
I need to get away from here and get some perspective on things.
What are you, nuts? What is this? What do you mean?
This is the biggest account this company has ever landed.
Do you want me to have nobody running the shop?
What are you talking about? Darcy's here.
For somebody who listens a lot, you don't hear so well.
I had a meeting with her today. I sat her down.
- We had a talk. - Oh, Dan! You didn't.
- Tell me you didn't fire her. - She didn't even put up a fight.
- Oh, Dan, no! - Hey, she's gone, pal.
No, no. It's not too late. Look, call her.
Tell her you need her back, you made a mistake. Hire her back.
- Hey, calm down. I can't do that. - Why?
Because I talked to the board and I told them I don't need her anymore.
- Oh! - They offered her a settlement.
Besides, Nike says they want you. You're what they bought.
- [Groans] - I got a delivery-- Can I--
Would you come out for one second? Let me tell you something.
My job is to deliver you.
Dan, Nike bought an idea. It wasn't even mine.
Every good idea that they loved yesterday came from her.
And if you don't get Darcy McGuire back in here, and I mean pronto,
the board is gonna be paying you your settlement.
This is all about saving your ass, right?
Save it.
Annie, get a hold of Darcy's address and number as quick as possible.
- Yeah, sure. - Where's the girl in glasses?
Erin? I don't think she's in today.
- Did she call in sick? - I don't think so. Didn't show up.
Oh, where does she live?
- Does anyone know where Erin lives? - [Man] Who's Erin?
And then someone will finally ask,
"Where's the geek in the glasses who carries all the files?"
[Whistling]
[Cell Phone Ringing]
Hey. Yeah. Did you get a hold of Darcy?
No? Keep trying. And when you get a hold of her, tell her to stay put.
I'm coming right over. I just have to make a little stop on the way.
Do you know where this is?
Down the alley.
Just down the alley.
Thanks.
- Come on, Erin. Be there. Please-- - [Cat Meows]
Erin?
Hello?
[Cat Meows]
No, no.
Dear Mom-- [Continues, Indistinct]
- [Yells] - [Screams]
Mr. Marshall! Mr. Marshall?
Yes, Erin. Yes, it's me.
- [Panting] - I'm sorry.
I really did not mean to scare you. Okay?
I just wanted to come and see how you are.
How are you?
Mr. Marshall, if you're here because I didn't show up today, I'm sorry.
I was just about to call. I swear.
No, I'm not here because you didn't show up for work.
But I'm here-- Well, I--
I bet you're wondering why I am here, huh?
As a matter of fact, I was just thinking that.
I was thinking, "Why is Mr. Marshall here in my bedroom?"
You were... thinking that just now?
Yeah, in my head.
I must have water in my ears or something.
But you're, you know, not thinking anything now, are you?
I'm thinking a million things.
Really?
Because, you know, usually I can, uh--
I can, uh--
You are thinking something right this minute?
Mr. Marshall, I am thinking that you are crazier than I am.
I think--
I think I lost--
It's gone.
I'm back.
- I'm back. - Mr. Marshall?
Yeah?
I'm sorry. Is there something I can maybe do for you?
No.
No, Erin, uh--
Actually, I came here to see if I could do something for you.
- For me? - Yeah.
See, the truth is--
The truth--
Erin, the truth is,
I'm glad I got here before you did anything to hurt yourself.
What makes you think that I would, uh,
do something to hurt myself?
I just sensed it.
Really?
You could sense that?
Well, that's not-- That's not good.
[Sobbing]
Yeah. But the real reason I'm here is because--
Well, here's the thing. The real reason I'm here is because--
As you know we have the Nike account,
and we have a job opening in our team.
And Darcy McGuire and I, we were just discussing--
really spitballing on who could be great enough to fill that void.
Suddenly, your name popped into my head, and I remembered...
that you once applied for a job as a copywriter.
I thought I'd come down here and see if you were still interested.
Didn't you try and meet with me a while back?
Yeah, I tried, but you were unavailable, and then out of town--
Well, now I'm available.
And as you can plainly see I'm in town,
so I'm here to take that meeting...
if you're available.
I'm available.
I'm unbelievably available.
[Buzzing]
[Dialing]
[Ringing]
[Darcy On Answering Machine] Hi, this is Darcy McGuire.
I'm not home right now, so please leave a message.
- I'll get back as soon as I can. - [Beeps]
Darcy? Hi, Darcy, it's Nick.
Uh, I'm standing right outside your place here.
I sure wish I could find you, get a hold of you.
Are you all right? I hope so.
Anyway, call me when you get this.
I'm on my cell. Triple five, 1-2-2-6.
I really need to talk to you.
Uh--
Just making sure you're not there.
You're not, right? No, I didn't think so.
All right, so call me, please. Please.
Bye.
[Cell Phone Ringing]
- Darcy? - [Gigi] No, it's me.
Gigi? Uh-- Is everything all right?
- Are you back in town already? - No, not until tomorrow.
Alex called me three times from a pay phone really upset.
Then we got disconnected. What's the matter? Isn't she at the prom?
[Sighs] The prom.
Excuse me. Do you know where Alex Marshall is?
Little tenth grader? Brown hair? About this high?
I saw her in the ladies' room. She's been there for, like, an hour.
Alex, are you in here?
[Alex Sobbing]
Alex, it's me.
[Scoffs] What are you doing here?
Oh, honey, I just--
You know, I can't believe that I screwed up.
I wasn't there when you left for the prom.
Yeah, well, that's not why I'm in here, so you can just go, okay?
Oh, boy, I feel awful. Are you okay? I mean, I--
Come on out. Let me see how you look, at least.
- Come on. - [Sobbing] I look like crap!
I already took my hair out and everything.
So, you know, what happened?
Well, if I told you, you'd just freak out, so--
What have you got to lose? Try me.
Okay.
Cameron and his friends, they had this big plan.
They rented this hotel room and-and--
It was like a suite.
Basically, I promised him that I was gonna--
I can't believe I'm gonna say this to you. [Sniffles]
I promised him that I was gonna...
sleep with him after the prom.
And like an hour ago,
we were on the dance floor and I said,
"I'm sorry, Cameron. You know, I'm just not ready."
Good. Good girl.
- Dad, come on! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Go on.
Then he goes, "Well, the limo, the room and the tux,
it all cost me 400 bucks. "
And I said, "I'm sorry. I'm just not--"
And he cuts me off and he says,
"I never should've asked a stupid sophomore to the prom. What a waste."
Then two seconds later,
he goes and meets up with his old girlfriend...
and starts making out with her.
I mean, this disgusting slut with a tongue ring.
And then they were laughing and--
I just can't go out there ever.
- Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. - Dad!
- What are you doing? - I'm sorry. I'm-I'm sorry.
But I am. And believe it or not,
I know what it's like to be a woman.
I mean, it's not as easy as it looks.
But you stood up for yourself. You know how ahead of the game you are?
Anyway, a guy that treats you like that and talks to you like that,
- he's not-- - Worth my time. Yes, I know.
- It's true. He's not. - And he's a total game player, I hate that.
You are so much smarter than me.
And look at you.
That clown made out with a girl with a tongue ring over you?
Honey...
you look beautiful.
Thanks.
Take me home, Dad.
What am I doing? She's not in the refrigerator.
I wonder if it's too late to go over there.
No, it's not too late. It's never too late to do the right thing.
That's what I'll do. I'll go over there and I'll do the right thing.
[Intercom Buzzing]
Hello?
Uh, hi, it's me. Oh, I'm glad I found you.
Uh--
Can I come up?
Darcy? I need to--
[Door Buzzing]
Hey.
You need to what? It's 1:00 in the morning.
I need to talk to you.
Okay.
Thanks.
So, you sleep here now?
I thought I might as well give it a try before I have to sell the place.
Sell it? You're not selling the place.
Can't afford to keep it. I don't have a job.
You know, you ought to try returning some of your phone calls.
- You got your job back. - Oh, do I?
- You're a riot. You know that? - lt's true.
Dan told me so himself.
Why would he tell you that? I didn't do the job he hired me to do.
Even I don't blame him for firing me.
Look, I'm, uh-- You can come on in.
I don't have any chairs, but if you wanna--
What if I told you that...
you did everything that you were hired to do--
everything-- but that someone was sabotaging you?
Picking your brain, swiping your ideas and--
Well, you-- you never even knew what hit you.
- How is that possible? - Oh, trust me, it's possible.
Well, who would do such an awful thing?
I would.
I was a dope with a corner office.
And when you came with the job I was supposed to have,
I mean, it didn't matter to me that...
you were better at it than me or you earned it more than I did.
As far as I was concerned, it was mine, and I was gonna get it back.
So I took advantage of you in the worst possible way.
Have you ever done that?
Taken the wrong road and-- No, of course you haven't.
You wouldn't do that. That's just--
Somebody like me does that.
And, uh--
The problem with that was that while I was digging the hole under you...
I found out all about you.
And the more I found out...
the more you dazzled me.
I mean, shook my world, changed my life, dazzled me.
And guys like that ex-husband of yours, he made you feel that...
the price you pay just for being you...
is that you don't get to have love.
Isn't that what you were trying to say the other night?
That you weren't complete? That you weren't really a winner?
Everything about you--
how smart you are, how good you are--
everything just makes me want you even more.
Oh, wow. Boy.
So it looks like I'm here at 1:00 in the morning...
being all heroic trying to rescue you,
but the truth is...
I'm the one that needs to be rescued here.
I sure wish I could read your mind.
Well, I was thinking that, um,
if everything you're saying is true,
if I really have my job back...
then I think you're fired.
Well, I never-- I never really thought about it from that angle.
Well, not that I don't deserve it. I-do-do--
I'm stuttering.
Now I feel kind of, uh,
embarrassed that I told you I needed to be rescued.
But that's-that's fine.
That's it?
I don't want that to be it.
I don't want that to be it at all.
Then don't let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way.
I didn't know what to react to first.
Hey, news flash.
I took the wrong road.
What kind of knight in shining armor would I be...
if the man I love needs rescuing...
and I just let him walk out my door?
My hero.